mini cooper john cooper works

Top 4 Vehicles for a Mad Scientist

There comes a time in the life of every evil genius when he needs a quick getaway car, a mobile laboratory, or a smokescreen automobile. Some madmen prefer the flamboyant. Just ask Kim Jong Un. But for most ordinary mad scientists, we recommend the following automobiles.

Mini Cooper John Cooper Works: Urban Runabout
In the hit cartoon series Phineas and Ferb, Dr. Doofenshmirtz is a clumsy scientist who desires dominion over the “entire Tri-State area!” He is a madman on the run, always foiled by his arch-nemesis, Perry the Platypus. Perhaps the Mini Cooper John Cooper Works, black with red hood stripes, would give Doofenschmirtz the edge. The JCW Coupe crowns the Cooper lineup. Its toys include Brembo disc brakes, a stout six-speed manual transmission, and a twin-scroll turbocharged 205-horsepower engine. And who doesn’t love a plate-sized speedometer with a top speed of 153 mph?

Ford Transit Connect: Mobile Lab
Every Victor Frankenstein or Dr. Moreau needs a mobile lab in which to conduct vivisection and play God. What better choice than the Transit Connect, a mini cargo van with a bargain-basement price and up to 2,000 pounds of payload capacity? Perfect for florists, postal workers, food caterers and soulless chemists, the Transit comes in two wheelbases, three trims, and two engine configurations. In 2014, the van won an exemplary five-star crash safety rating from the NHTSA.

Honda CR-V: Camouflage Car
Meet Dexter: All-American boy by day, mad scientist by night. Save for his nosy sister, Dee Dee, Dexter manages to keep his hidden laboratory a secret. In keeping with his traditional upbringing and appreciation for subterfuge, Dexter needs a Honda CR-V. One of the most popular crossovers in America, the CR-V seats five passengers, costs under $25,000, and achieves up to 34 mpg. All models come with a rearview camera. Top-tier models are available with all-wheel drive and LaneWatch.

Mercedes-Benz E250 BlueTec: Smokescreen Luxury
Lex Luthor, a Mr. Clean doppelganger, is a madman genius masquerading as corporate executive. His façade ought to be a Mercedes-Benz E250 BlueTec, a clean-diesel sedan boasting 195 horsepower and 42 highway mpg, for how could a man who drives a vehicle to save the earth be so intent on ruling it? Designed with the classic hood-mounted silver star, the E250 BlueTec blends German engineering with European luxury. When equipped with the Premium package, the midsize sedan has a surround-sound Harmon/kardon audio system, heated front seats, a rearview camera, the COMAND navigation system, and a devilishly good ride.

World domination never looked – or drove – so good.